"The airport? Yes, I can take you there at no extra charge, but it'll take some time alright. Where you off to? None of my business indeed. I'm afraid the radio can't be turned off, and it keeps switching channels at random. Yes, I suppose I should have it fixed, but to tell you the truth, I rather like it this way, and I've had no complaints so far. Oh, I didn't realize you were complaining, when you said you were a traveler, I thought you meant you like to take trips. Well, you're free to get off at any point, at your own risk of course. Yes I guess you could call it the middle of nowhere, although if that was really where we are, then I'd be home. A little joke of course. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to keep my eye on the road, you wouldn't believe the number of holes on this highway, some thing's gotta be eating up the asphalt at night. Come to think of it, I barely ever see any roadkill, for a road that has so many big trucks. But I digress. What time is your flight? Hmmm that leaves us an hour and a half to make it. Well your phone GPS map says thirty minutes, but that's not taking into account traffic, weather, and er, time difference. No, I'm absolutely serious this time. Gaps and warps describe it better. I guess that's why they call this route the "Lapse lap" in the profession. Well I said no extra charge though. No way for me to give you the tour either, there's just this one road to the airport, even your phone could tell you that. I'm sorry sir, I don't hear any noise. Oh, this is probably a local station, it's rather faint. Distressing? Nothing to worry, just some radio chatter mixed in, happens sometimes, but since you're not talking much, we'll have to make do with the voices of the air. Can't you tell a joke when you hear one? People these days think having a sense of humor means laughing in sync with the laugh track, they panic if they don't see smileys at the end of every sentence. Looks like there's some serious roadwork ahead, I heard they're building some expensive railroad to connect the city to the airport, or perhaps it's the other way around, dunno anymore if anyone still lives in this city, maybe they're all stuck in traffic instead, on their way to the holiday resort, the discount super-store or the crematorium. At least you're stuck in my cab, I hope you're having a good time back there, I beg you to feel the leatherette if you haven't already, smell it even, but don't taste it though, they don't make seats like these anymore, some texture isn't it! Now if you'll excuse me, we're leaving ground anytime, can't see much with this yellow fog, but I'd say that's the bridge right there, funny they built the airport on a lake, don't you think? Maybe in case of plane crashes. I bet the bottom of the lake is littered with wrecks. Well, I'm sure you'll have a safe flight anyway, if that yellow fog clears out that is, so thick you could spread it on toast. And it looks like some serious jam ahead, was there some bargain sale on flights this weekend that I wasn't aware of? If only I knew where you're going, maybe I would buy a ticket myself, see if the air is as rotten on the other side. Anyhow, I figure it'll be a while before we can get to your terminal, but tell you what, let's turn up the volume, put your feet up and enjoy the sound, I'm sure they won't take off without you."